Psychology of Missing Someone 2: Kitani Mohabbat Hai

This song 'Kitani Mohabbat Hai' has so many memories associated with it. This is why whenever I hear it, I start crying. This song just reminds me of bad memories that I want to dissociate myself from. Something that happened, it took me 1 whole year to recover from it and it happened when I used to watch the drama, whose title track this song is. This drama makes me emotional and so does this song.

Whatever that might have happened, it is always tried to be forgotten; but sometimes a song or some other thing triggers the memory and everything comes rushing back. A song doesn't have to be particularly in the language that you speak, it can be any song that can hold so much meaning for you. You don't even have to understand the lyrics. Only the music is enough to turn on the emotional, sentimental part of your brain.

When we hear songs, we hear songs for many reasons. The songs that are newly released, we might hear them for the hype factor. Let's see what this new singer has to offer. After we hear the song once, why do we hear the song twice? Why do we hear the song more than once? Sometimes, we might hear the song on repeat the whole day. If you ask someone why they do that, they'll always tell you "because I love the song." They will never really tell you why.

There is always a reason why you listen to a song more than once. When you listen to the song once - that is if you fully listen to the song and actually like it - you are just enjoying it and not really paying attention to the lyrics that much. I know there are people, some people like me, who actually pay attention to the lyrics the first time around too; however, there are many who don't. The second time is when you actually start to pay more attention towards the lyrics.

Once you pay attention to the lyrics, your mind starts to tell your subconscious, things. That is when the trigger to get all your memories from their storage is pulled. The more deeply you start to pay attention to the lyrics, the more attuned your mind gets to the song. Then it is more about the song and not the music. Some lyrics really get you and you start remembering things. Flashbacks start occuring in front of your eyes.

Now, songs are a good way to remember things. Whether you want to remember things is another story. Songs can be used to remember good things, but they can bring back horrible bad memories too. Those kinds of memories, associated with hurtful and tragic events in your life. Such events that sometimes you don't want to think about. Songs are also a good way to miss someone and also, remember them at the same time. Especially, when the person doesn't live near you and you have to wait months to see them, meet them and talk to them.

Songs are tools. They bring happiness when you are sad. They bring sadness when you are happy. However, sometimes it is the happy kind of sadness, which you want to revel in. If you are missing someone, you play a song which might make you remember that person and then two things usually happen. Firstly, it hurts. If the person is or isn't still in your life. It fucking hurts you. There is this piercing pain in your heart. You deliberately do this to yourself. You deliberately play a song which makes you remember a person you really want to remember.

Secondly, it makes you smile. After the initial searing pain subsides, you go in to a self-induced melancholy mood and mode, you listen to all your favourite songs which remind you about them and then you smile. You finish listening to a song and then you smile some more. If the person is not in your life anymore, you don't bother telling them that you missed them and smiled. If the person is still in your life and you two are on good terms, more than often you 'will'  mention it to them that, "hey I listened to this song and it made me remember you or miss you." That usually follows with a 'I love you'.

Sometimes though, people listen to a song and they won't mention it to the person directly, that it reminded me of you or I was listening to this, because I was missing you. That's such a shame really. You should tell the person that you were missing them. Experiences have taught lots of things and one of them is that, you should never hold yourself back from speaking your mind. You should never hold yourself back from doing what you and your heart wants to do. You should go for it. Do you want to live with the regret, for the rest of your life, that you didn't try and they got away?

Trust all those heart-broken lovers who write that they are in depression, because they lost the person they love. What is the use of missing someone afterwards? You should miss them while they are still in your life, in the good way. Don't cry and miss them when they are gone. Do something now. Even if they are angry at you and are not speaking to you, you should tell them how you feel. You should tell them you want them back in your life. Missing someone really hurts. Whether they are no longer in your life, whether they are but ignoring you, whether they aren't ignoring you but are too busy, whatever may the reason be for you missing them. Let them know!! 


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