Psychology of Missing Someone
I have been really interested in knowing, what makes a person miss the other person? How do we miss this person? Why do we miss this person? Or anyone in fact? I have been thinking about this from the morning. Even when I was in the shower. Usually when I am in the shower, I get weird epiphanies or revelations regarding various topics, or I see or think about things which actually do come true. I have always wondered if I had some special ability and yes I do have a special ability.
It is the ability to observe and analyse. Two thinks very important for Psychologists but Photographers and Journalists a like. Some people might not observe about what's going on around them, some might but not analyse, some won't even do both. It's good to observe and analyse but not draw negative conclusions all the time. We have to analyse and draw conclusions without any biases and pre-made up thoughts about something in our minds. Some people analyse and look in to something way too much, when the matter is not even that deep. It's a simple clean cut matter and yet they make a mountain out of a molehill. I have one message for all of them who do this, stop reading too much in to things. That's when the trouble starts, especially them desi aunties who read too much in to things and then start gossiping and spreading rumours.
Anyway this was about missing someone. I have noticed, if you tell someone you are going to be away - for instance, away from the country you live in - or you tell them that you won't be in touch with them for some reason for a while, they will miss you more. I am sure this is not ALWAYS the case, especially if the person that you tell this to is not close to you, but if they are close to you, then they will miss you more if you tell them. This has a special psychological effect on the mind. If you won't tell them that you are going anywhere, even if it is just for a day, they might not even realise it or they might realise it late.
If you won't tell them that you won't be in touch with them for a day or two, they will just go about their daily routine, be busy and won't realise. People are so busy these days, some people have such hectic routines to actually stay in touch with anyone. IF you have planted it in their mind that you won't be in touch, then it surely will come in their thoughts and they will miss you.
Apart from that, even when a person is not going anywhere but for some reason or the other is not in touch with the person that they like to talk to, they miss them. WHY IS THAT? Why do we miss people? What makes us miss people that we like to talk to? What makes us miss people that have a special corner in our hearts? What makes us miss people that have become special for us? Is it because they are an important part of our lives now and the mind recognises that?
Is it not because they are important, but just because we talk to them so much, we miss "talking to them" and not actually "them". If we don't talk to them there is a void in our life and daily routine. We don't like them as a person, we just like talking to them. Maybe because of one or two of their qualities. So the people that we miss, are they our friends or just human beings that we get attached to and we miss them in our daily routine?
It's crazy when people don't even support their own ideas and thoughts. I for one, don't support any of the negative bullshit in here about missing someone. I am a die hard romantic and the person who has experienced what it feels like to be in love or miss someone. You don't have to be in love to miss someone but you can love missing someone. Even if they are away and you can't talk to them.
This still doesn't answers in a positive light, why we miss someone. All I have written is negativity, taking a person as a human being that we have gotten attached to. No that is not the case. Missing someone? What does that actually mean? It is when you remember something they had said, or something you had said to them. In extreme cases, even their picture comes to your mind. You can hear them in your mind as well, if you miss someone a lot. You miss talking to them, you miss their smile, you miss their laughter, you miss their smell, you miss every little thing they did or they do.
Now that is all for people you are missing, who live in the same town or area as you, and you get to see them often. What if you are missing someone online? Same dynamics, similar ball game, just a tad bit different. You don't have that animated features of the person to support your mind, missing them. Maybe the way they keep on running their fingers through their hair or something. At the most, online interaction can be very fake. Even if you see someone in a webcam sitting far away, the person would always try to be really presentable and will not necessarily act natural, unlike a person who you actually meet in a real life setting on a day to day basis. You won't miss the sigh sound of a person, for example who you interact with online, because most probably you had never heard their sigh before.
Missing someone who lives far from you, is more difficult and painful than missing someone who lives near you but is away, busy and that's why not in touch. This is why, in my humble opinion having long distance friends is all fun and nice, but it is difficult, especially if you get close to someone but you can't meet them. You miss them, you want to send them a birthday present and you do, but will you be actually present there to give it and meet them in real life? It doesn't always happen. Not all of us are blessed with the ability to travel so easily and have a jet setter lifestyle. Not always are we financially capable as well. This is why, all you can do is be friends with a person online - long distance - if they will allow you to be. What do I mean by allow you to be? For example, if they hardly tell you anything about them or their daily life, or even where they live or what they do, then you are missing out on huge chunks of their life. It is not even a complete friendship. It is just like two people come in front of their computers or mobile phones and talk to one another.
Now if they do tell you random details of their daily life and entrust you with knowledge about them, even though you both are long distance and will meet who knows when, then that person is allowing you to be friends with them and giving you a chance to enter their life. This is the kind of people you miss the most, when for some reason you don't get to talk to them in a day or for days, and this is the kind of people who hurt you the most too, if they stop talking to you.
I don't know how much psychology is in there, about missing someone, but these were just some of the random thoughts that were in my mind and I wanted to write them down. I hope I didn't bore you guys. Whoever are my silent readers.