Real Love: Much More Than Desire

Love makes you helpless. Many people these days say that they are in love, but that is actually laughable, because it isn't love. It is just lust and infatuation. Real love is so much different than that. Real love is much more than just sexual desire. Real love breaks down all stereotypes and still exists. When there is real love, connection and bond between two people, they don't need to speak every day, all the time, for them to feel it. They don't have to act like immature lustful teenagers and stay awake all night talking, for it to keep existing. You know when it is there and when it will last.

Real love doesn't mean that you keep lavishing the person you love, with gifts all the time. However, when you are really in love with someone, you want to keep giving them presents and you feel like you want to give them each and every thing that they desire. You feel like putting the world at their feet, even though it is not necessary. When you go out, you feel like buying them something too, when you buy something for yourself; or you look at something and you think that this would be perfect for them and you should buy it.

Keep using the term 'real love', because people have spoilt the meaning of the word love now. You talk to someone for a few days and whoa, suddenly you are in love. You find someone sexually attractive and that's love too. You find someone's profile picture on Twitter or FB attractive and you think that's love worthy enough to marry them. You talk to someone online for a few days and profess marriage. That isn't love.

Real love isn't a happy thing. It is quite the contrary. Real love is all about pain and tears. In love, happiness is a very rare thing. You have to keep fighting, keep facing difficulties, keep hurting yourself, keep breaking and rejoining your heart all the time. You become sane and happy for a little while, because there are always challenges. One test or challenge after the other that you have to face, in the path of love. It is a never ending story. 

People who date others for a few months whether online or in real life and think they are in love, well sorry to say you aren't. Human mind is a very tricky thing to deal with. There is a fine line between love and habit, lust and attachment etc. People differ in nature too. Mental and physical nature. Some are more sexual in nature than others. They are attracted easily to others and it is this lustful nature, which tricks them in to thinking that they are in love. Real love doesn't happen in a matter of days, months or even years. It takes time. Also, as time passes, few things will happen with you, that will make you REALISE that you are in love.

Feelings? Feelings come and go. What are feelings? They are basically sexual in nature. Sexual feelings and love has nothing to do with one another. Sexual feelings are lustful. You are lusting after another person. It doesn't mean that it is feelings of love. Feelings of love don't develop this easily. If that was the case, all the ugly people in the world wouldn't have this much trouble in finding someone to love or have a significant other.

A person is beautiful. Another person is sexually attracted towards the beautiful person. Now beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, so fortunately for some, there will always be someone who will like you. Once someone does 'like' you - which basically means they are sexually inclined towards you - their brains and bodies will tell them to start getting to know you. Once they start getting to know you and the process keeps going on for a very long period of time, chances of love happening will increase.

There is no love at first sight. That is a horrible saying. That is a mockery of the word love. It is lustful eyes at first sight. Love doesn't just happen. If it happened like that, fat or anorexic people would have a lot better chances at it. So basically, everyone is beautiful to a certain extent, but for love to happen, lust should happen first and for that, everyone should be sexy. What a disgrace our society has become? Pushing real love away for superficial feelings and sentiments.

What is real love? Will start from the basics to when it gets really complicated. Real love tames you so badly and makes you forget about yourself completely. If you are even wee bit selfish, you aren't in love. Love isn't selfish. People in love aren't selfish. They are only selfish when it comes to sharing their love with someone else.

Ever felt like you were feeling suffocated? Ever felt like you were so jealous and angry, that you couldn't breath? Ever felt like you wished you killed whoever was sweet talking with this one particular person? Ever got so boiling mad that you thought your head was going to come off, when you saw someone flirting with someone you know? Chances are that's love. When you are in love, you are so jealous, there is no limit to how jealous you can be. Jealousy drives you to paranoia and makes your mind act in very weird ways. In this situation, keeping your mind calm is one of the hardest things to do.

When you are in love, you want to talk to the person all the time. Whether it is reciprocated or not. However, when you are 'really' in love, you would stop yourself from talking to the person too much, in case you make them feel annoyed or something. You will give them space and you 'will' understand. As a matter of fact, there is no 'will', but you 'have' to understand. There is no way out of this. You will have to understand everything. You will have to give them space. By and by, as time goes by, there will come a time, when instead of having to, you would be willing to and would want to give them space and understand them, because you don't want to do anything that would drive you two apart.

A stereotype is that people who are in love talk all night. Not really. Those people who are really in love, wouldn't want to talk all night. If you are really in love with a person, you would want them to sleep on time and eat on time, you would want them to look after themselves and take care. You wouldn't want to disrupt their daily routine and sleeping pattern. This can't always be, if your loved one lives thousands of kilometres away from you and there is a huge time difference; but even then you adjust and give ample amount of time for the other person to sleep. You don't enforce yourself on the other person and ask them to stop sleeping, just because you want to talk to them. To be honest, that's highly selfish.

When you are really in love, you will feel highly protective of the person. You would want to shelter the person, protect them from any sort of harm, protect them from the daily harshness and you would want to be there for them. This is why love is cruel. You also realise that the person needs to be independent and do things on their own and you can't be there for them all the time. However, this feeling kills you from the inside, that you wish you help them out with whatever they are in trouble with and make all their problems go away. You want them to be left carefree and take all their worries and headaches on your head, but on the other hand they don't want you to do that. You sometimes would have to promise to take a step back and let them do things their way, even though it isn't what you would have liked to happen and how you would do it. Then you would have to bare with their decisions and the consequences of those decisions; without being able to have a say on things.

In love, seriously, the voice of the person, the eyes of the person and such things are very trivial. When you are in love, bigger problems become your headache and there are huger issues to deal with. The person will make you vulnerable and weak. The very same person that you love, will hurt you many times and leave you crying. After all, you do so many things for them, but they still hurt you and be difficult. This brings tears in your eyes from time to time and you feel like smashing your head somewhere and/or killing yourself. Even after tears and ample crying, you readily go back to the person you love and are willing to be there for them in each and every way. Heartache is the worst kind of pain on the planet someone can experience. You miss them so much when you don't talk to them. You become sad. Their mood influences your mood. It is suddenly from you to they. Whatever you do, you do it for them or for you both.

This is a very vague attempt at describing what real love is, because obviously, love depends from person to person. You can write pages on what real love is and the sentiments associated with it. Philosophers and people have tried from thousands of years to describe what love is and have written so many novels, stories, poetry etc on the matter. No one has described it perfectly till now, because love is such an emotion. It is better felt, than described. It is better heard in your mind, than written down on a piece of paper.


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